Trigger Waring: This post talks about self destructive behaviours please don’t read if your really struggling and it’s going to trigger you.
Disorder eating is something I have struggled with for years. The reason I call it disorder eating is because I have never actually been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I definitely engage with some of the behaviours that come with an eating disorder.
I have restricted my food, made myself sick and counted calories like there was no tomorrow. Something new I have been struggling with is abusing laxatives. I am not going to put numbers in any of my post as it can be very triggering for people but lets just say that I am taking more then I should.
I hate food but yet most of my day is consumed by food and what I going to be eating that day. If my day is not consumed by food and I eat without thinking about calories then I feel really guilty after eating. I am always worried about my weight I definitely have very low body image. There has defenitly been things go on in my childhood and teenage years that have caused such a low body image.
If you read my Crohn’s blog post it has a section in it that explains how getting Crohn’s has effected my mental health.
The reason I wanted to talk about food is because it’s something that I struggle with so much and have for so many years. Is food and body image something you struggle with to?
Anyway that it for this blog post see you next time 🙂