I am Back

So I am back! I haven’t posted in a while because my life has been a bit crazy the last month I went back into hospital because my mental health went down hill again. I was officially diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

I didn’t really want to post again because I was really afraid to, but I still write when I am not blogging  and I was showing someone what I wrote and they told me I need to start blogging again so here is something I wrote while I was in hospital.

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Every thing is clam for a moment, then it hits I knew it was coming, I always do it doesn’t make it any easier though all of a sudden I don’t care anymore.

The whole world is a horrible place and I am a horrible person, I don’t deserve to live anymore. I just wish everything around me would just disappear.

I try to distract myself from these thoughts but nothing works, this one is bad and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

It might last a few hours maybe a day then I am okay for a bit, but it will come back, maybe it will be worse and maybe it won’t be as bad.

But I never know just how bad it’s going to get.

Sometimes I get through them without hurting myself, other times I am just not strong enough.

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I promise to try and keep with regular post. See you next time 🙂

 

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